Knicks Encourage Me to Finish Off Entire Bottle of Pills

The only positive about this game was that the Knicks would have won if the game was only 3 quarters long.  I am not even sure if the Knicks outplayed the Celtics for the first 3 quarters or if the Celtics had a bet going about how long they could toy with the Knicks before putting them away. Here are my tips for the Knicks going forward:

  • On defense everyone gets a guy and you HAVE to stay with that guy unless there is a switch and then BOTH players must switch, NOT just one of the two players. And, when there is a switch at least one of those players should announce his plans to switch out loud.
  • If your name is Amare (and sometimes Carmelo) and you are being covered by multiple players that means that MULTIPLE PLAYERS ON YOUR TEAM are open and you should probably try to find one of those open guys.
  • When the other team shoots, no matter how pretty the shot is you can’t just stare at the ball, you HAVE to find a player on the other team and stand near him (even better if you can try and box him out).
  • If Ronny Turiaf or Jarred Jeffries have the ball on offense within 15 feet of the basket and no one is covering them then they are required to shoot the ball even if they think shooting will result in an allergic reaction.
  • The fans are no longer allowed to chant M-V-P at STAT until he plays defense for an entire game.
  • When you are on offense and you pass the ball to a teammate PLEASE don’t then walk over to that teammate and bring your defender with you (I wish I was only talking to Amare).
  • Every game a lucky fan should get to sit in Andy Rautins’ seat on the bench, wear his uniform and basically pretend to be Rautins. D’Antoni should not be told about this promotion and we will all wait to see how long it takes him to notice.
  • Derek Brown should introduce himself to D’Antoni every game at half time.

 

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