With the Knicks first pre-season game tonight and in honor of our former coach, the great Mike Woodson, our investigative team here at New York Knicks Podcast has uncovered the actual notes Mike Woodson provided his players prior to their first preseason game last season. We are exposing ourselves to a great deal of liability by providing this information to you but we care about you the reader. We cannot explain to you exactly how this information was obtained but needless to say it involved a great deal of strap-ons.
- If you are wide open with the basketball in your hand, before shooting, ask yourself is your name Carmelo or JR.
- The first 20 seconds on the shot clock are all about setting up your shot.
- On the fast break be the turtle, not the hare. If you don’t follow that than maybe we should be trading you and by you everyone knows I am talking to Shump.
- If you are on defense and covering the same guy for more than 5 seconds than you are doing something wrong.
- If you are on defense and you see the guy with the ball is double covered, get your ass over there because there is no reason that guy shouldn’t be triple covered.
- Time on the bench is not for resting or chit-chat, when you are on the bench you should be paying very close attention to my goatee.
- All personal listening devices by team rule can play any number of great songs to get you pumped for tonight’s game as long as that song was written and performed by JD & the Straight Shots.
- Above all else remember our mantra on offense, “passing is just admitting that you can’t score”.
ESPN already beat us to the punch with their power rankings through 2017 so we decided to go ahead and release our 2048-49 NBA Power Rankings.
#30 – Sacramento Kings – The Kings are convinced this is the year that their team of shoot first players with no real position end their 55 year no playoff drought. They are so committed to this style of play that they have eliminated the PG position and threw out their playbook as they’ll only be running iso plays anyway.
#29 – Minnesota Timberwolves – We all know their fate after they recently dropped the Timberwolves nickname and renamed the team the Minnesota Groomers after losing the 7th superstar in row that they groomed before the player went on to win a title elsewhere. It seems like no one since Garnett has been willing to spend more than 4 years in this cold dark hell hole.
#28 – Portland Trailblazers – I mean why in gods name would you spend your number one pick on Greg Oden’s son???
#27 – Houston Rockets – Looks like Houston is sticking to the plan of assembling a team that excels in all 47 advanced stat categories but aren’t actually very good on the court.
#26 – Utah No Jazz – After Utah broke off from the United States in 2030 to form their own Mormon nation things got a little tough for this franchise as the new Mormon nation has banned music, drinking, cheering, and passing. I do like their choice for coach though as there is no coach better prepared for a team that is not allowed to pass than 105 year old Mike Woodson.
#25 – Kansas City Pistons – The players are finally getting used to playing in Kansas City after Detroit was destroyed in the Great Robot Wars of 2042.
#24 – Los Angeles Lakers – Why are the Lakers still paying $45M/year for Kobe just to show up at games? Continue reading
Stars Gather For Annual Poker Event
Allan Houston is the Assistant General Manager of the Knicks, and most people would think he’s got his hands full especially considering the off-season the Knicks have just had. As we’ve come out the other end clasping to our star player, the day-to-day rigmarole of assisting the running a basketball team or playing for that matter, was never enough for Houston.
The Foundation was started in 2001 to initially donate money to help the unfortunate families that were affected by the 9/11 tragedy. After that the Foundation helped initiate a series of welcomed projects around New York such as:
- NY Community Trust (2001-2004)
- My Teacher is a Hero Award (2001-2003)
- Allan Houston Celebrity Golf Classic (2002)
- Winter Wonderland at the Intrepid Museum (2004)
- Operation Heathy Kids with Harlem YMCA (2006)
The projects above are just some of the notable programs that the Foundation has been able to fund over the years. However, one of the most influential recent events that Houston’s has been curating is the Allan Houston Legacy Foundation Charity Poker Event. The event attracts a host of professional poker players, Knicks stars including Carmelo Anthony and Amar’e Stoudemire and also some of New York’s finest celebrities have been in attendance.
The idea to use a poker tournament as the fundraiser was an easy choice, with many sports using poker as a vehicle to raise money for charitable causes. Continue reading