ESPN already beat us to the punch with their power rankings through 2017 so we decided to go ahead and release our 2048-49 NBA Power Rankings.
#30 – Sacramento Kings – The Kings are convinced this is the year that their team of shoot first players with no real position end their 55 year no playoff drought. They are so committed to this style of play that they have eliminated the PG position and threw out their playbook as they’ll only be running iso plays anyway.
#29 – Minnesota Timberwolves – We all know their fate after they recently dropped the Timberwolves nickname and renamed the team the Minnesota Groomers after losing the 7th superstar in row that they groomed before the player went on to win a title elsewhere. It seems like no one since Garnett has been willing to spend more than 4 years in this cold dark hell hole.
#28 – Portland Trailblazers – I mean why in gods name would you spend your number one pick on Greg Oden’s son???
#27 – Houston Rockets – Looks like Houston is sticking to the plan of assembling a team that excels in all 47 advanced stat categories but aren’t actually very good on the court.
#26 – Utah No Jazz – After Utah broke off from the United States in 2030 to form their own Mormon nation things got a little tough for this franchise as the new Mormon nation has banned music, drinking, cheering, and passing. I do like their choice for coach though as there is no coach better prepared for a team that is not allowed to pass than 105 year old Mike Woodson.
#25 – Kansas City Pistons – The players are finally getting used to playing in Kansas City after Detroit was destroyed in the Great Robot Wars of 2042.
#24 – Los Angeles Lakers – Why are the Lakers still paying $45M/year for Kobe just to show up at games? Continue reading