2048-49 NBA Power Rankings

ESPN already beat us to the punch with their power rankings through 2017 so we decided to go ahead and release our 2048-49 NBA Power Rankings.

#30 – Sacramento Kings – The Kings are convinced this is the year that their team of shoot first players with no real position end their 55 year no playoff drought. They are so committed to this style of play that they have eliminated the PG position and threw out their playbook as they’ll only be running iso plays anyway.

#29 – Minnesota Timberwolves – We all know their fate after they recently dropped the Timberwolves nickname and renamed the team the Minnesota Groomers after losing the 7th superstar in row that they groomed before the player went on to win a title elsewhere. It seems like no one since Garnett has been willing to spend more than 4 years in this cold dark hell hole.

#28 – Portland Trailblazers – I mean why in gods name would you spend your number one pick on Greg Oden’s son???

#27 – Houston Rockets – Looks like Houston is sticking to the plan of assembling a team that excels in all 47 advanced stat categories but aren’t actually very good on the court.

#26 – Utah No Jazz – After Utah broke off from the United States in 2030 to form their own Mormon nation things got a little tough for this franchise as the new Mormon nation has banned music, drinking, cheering, and passing.  I do like their choice for coach though as there is no coach better prepared for a team that is not allowed to pass than 105 year old Mike Woodson.

#25 – Kansas City Pistons – The players are finally getting used to playing in Kansas City after Detroit was destroyed in the Great Robot Wars of 2042.

#24 – Los Angeles Lakers – Why are the Lakers still paying $45M/year for Kobe just to show up at games? Continue reading

2013/14 Knicks Roster Power Rankings – Week 23

3-1 this week as the Knicks make their playoff push. Hahaha, just kidding about the playoffs. They beat two crappy teams and 1 good team missing 40% of their starting lineup and also got completely annihilated against a good team. The Knicks final 7 games are all against playoff teams so this will probably be the last semi nice rankings of the season. I forsee much bitterness in the final two weeks.
Rank Player Comments Last weeks Rank
1 Anthony, Carmelo At first I was thinking the Knicks have 43 losses, how much worse would they be without Melo? Then I realized the answer is they’d much much worse. 2
2 Smith, J.R. JR had a very good week, and played out of his mind against the Kings. I’m worried that he’s gone from about 10 shots a night to 15+, that doesn’t bode well for when he goes cold again. And he will. 5
3 Prigioni, Pablo His plus minus shows he knows how to run an offense. He gets shredded by opposing guards fairly often but at least he does many other things on the court better than the rest of our sorry backcourt. 3
4 Chandler, Tyson Would have put him 3rd for having a few good games but 1 point and 4 rebounds against the Suns? Shame on you Tyson. 4
5 Stoudemire, Amar’e Two good games before his streak of playing really well ended. He got some rest last night so maybe he’ll be ready to dominate during the Knicks EPIC PLAYOFF PUUUUUUSHHH, hahahahaha. 1
6 Shumpert, Iman Remember when Shumpert could play offense? He’s this high because he plays defense and contrary to Woodsons opinion defense does mean something. 6
7 Hardaway Jr., Tim His shot was off all week but he somehow posted a positive +/- in every game this week. Something we’re going to need for this exciting, riveting PLAYOFF PUSH!!!!!!! Hahahahaha. 9
8 Aldrich, Cole I like how Woodson is actually using a backup center sometimes. Not when Tyson is putting up 1 point, the Knicks are getting embarrassed though. Why try anything different when you are down by 30. 7
9 Felton, Raymond Trey Burke didn’t go off last night. That makes one straight game that opposing guards didn’t go off. Progress. Progress we’ll need for the final 7 games of the Kicks 2013-14 PLAYOFF PUSH, lol. 11
10 Shannon Brown Shannon Brown. 2 points and 1 steal in less than a minute against the Warriors. That’s the kind of productivity we’re going to need for the end of the season, totally exciting and realistic playoff push! 12
11 Murry, Toure’ I get it now. Woodson is saving Murry so he’s fully rested for all of these playoff games the Knicks will be playing. 8
12 Jeremy Tyler Only one game out! We’ll ignore that it’s 2 in the loss column and don’t have a tiebreaker so it’s essentially 3 games with 7 to go because Tyler is ready for the totally feasable, definitely doable PLAYOFF PUSH! 10
13 Martin, Kenyon I hope K-Mart comes back this week because if there is one thing he knows how to do it’s push for the playoffs. 13
14 Bargnani, Andrea Sucks for you Bargs. You were stuck on all those lottery teams only to get to the Knicks at the height of their amazing run to the playoffs and are too injured to play! 14

Continue reading

Episode 247: Playoff Mush

The Knicks continue the most pathetic limp towards the playoffs we’ve ever seen as Jay and Marc talk about how a team that gives up 50 point quarters and looks like they aren’t trying every other game can actually be gaining ground on the final playoff spot.

Download Episode 247

Tweet of the Week

Pablo gets this weeks tweet of the week, mainly because I’m super excited to see what he can do in game 2 tomorrow.

image22

Michael (@delacmi1) scours twitter all week to find our Knicks player Tweet of the Week every Monday morning.

Knicks @ Hawks 4/22/12 – Game Thread

The Knicks clinched a playoff spot this weekend and with the loss to the Cavs we’re stuck in either 7th or 8th.  Do we try to get the 8th seed so we can play the Bulls?  Is that even a good idea considering they can rebound and we can’t?

 

Episode 89: Eastern Conference Preview

We do our Eastern Conference Preview.  Predictions for the playoff seeds, who makes the finals, most/least improved, MVP, and top 5 questions.  Download Episode 89