Building on Jay’s post I would like to discuss the ways I would make the NBA better if I were Lord Overlord Master of the NBA (I believe that is the title on David Stern’s business card).  Besides making it so technical fouls are only called in extreme situations, I would do the following:

  1. No more free throws! Free throws suck and they are boring. It would be like stopping baseball every five minutes for batting practice. Instead, we borrow from the NHL hockey penalty box. You get a foul and you sit for a 1 minute while your team plays shorthanded. How awesome would it be for there to be consistently 4 vs 5 or even 3 vs 5 situations.
  2. Building on that, no more touch fouls or and 1’s. If you make the shot you were  not fouled. If you were touched but you should have made the shot then no penalty, deal with it.
  3. Half Court shots are now worth 4 points. Just imagine how much more awesomely frustrating D’Antoni’s offense would be. Also, watching a team try to go for 4 point shots for the win would be where Amazing Happens. I am open to discussing 5 points for a shot from inside the arc of the other team.
  4. The two teams with the worst record in the NBA will play a 7 game toilet bowl series at the end of the season. The winning team will get the #1 pick in the NBA draft. The losing team must compete next season in the NBA Developmental League, switching places with the D-League champion from the previous season. The only way a franchise gets back into the NBA is to win the title in the D-League. I would also be open to switching in a team from the Euro-league.
  5. If you flop you get fined. Flopping sucks. It is ridiculous to watch. Every time the opposing player breathes on Derek Fisher and he goes crashing to the floor it is an insult to everyone who watches and plays the game. The NBA will review every flop that happens in a game and if it is determined to be a true flop they will be fined. For every three official flop fines you will be suspended for a game.
  6. Donald Sterling is no longer the owner of the LA Clippers. The team will be auctioned off to the highest bidder with Sterling getting the fair market value for his team. Sterling will then no longer be allowed to attend a Clipper game. He is the worst owner in the NBA. He makes James Dolan look like a genius. He cannot be allowed to destroy Blake Griffin’s career and kill the last and best hope for Clipper fans.
  7. Lebron James must be forced to only speak to the media through special prime-time broadcasts on ESPN.
  8. Aerosmith’s song Cryin’ shall become the official theme song of the Miami Heat and will be played before all of their games until they win a title.
  9. If your team is down by 40 points, the game ends. This will give teams something to gun for during blowouts.
  10. The All-Star game is eliminated. It is a completely pointless and just boring affair to watch. The All-Star teams will still be named but the All-Star weekend will simply consists of a ton of fun to watch skills competitions. Further, the dunk contest will be expanded to include 15 players and everyone gets 2 dunks…AND everyone goes at the same time.

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