It has been rumored that the Miami Heat are seriously looking at Eddie Curry. Yes, the same guy who ate burgers on the Knicks bench for two years. Last year he weighed 350 pounds. Let me repeat three hundred and fifty pounds. Allegedly he is down to 300 and 288 is what the Heat want him to get down to.
In a perfect world Eddy gets down to say 285. The Heat, impressed with his motivation for a paycheck…er…to play again signs him for a few million a.k.a. the rest of their cap space. Eddie, delighted to get paid again celebrates at the buffet. Over and over again until he’s 400 pounds and less productive than Erick Dampier.