Dear Phil Jackson,

I would like to offer you the opportunity to tarnish your legacy by becoming involved with our shitshow of an organization. We would love you to be our coach but happy to have you as GM, team president, our starting PG or just have you sit court side at all our home games. I promise we will overpay you by a ghastly amount that we will have to eat for years to come when this relationship blows up like all things do in Knicksland. If you choose to be our GM, you will have complete control and autonomy to remake the team in any fashion you choose as long as you resign Melo, agree to continue our tradition of treating first round draft picks like Mexican peso and allow me to meddle in every decision you make including what you will eat each day for lunch. We know that you have brought many titles to Jordan led Bulls teams and Kobe/Shaq led Lakers teams and that you will understand with New York that you will have the ultimate opportunity to prove your greatness by taking an Amare/Bargs (we all know Melo has Chicago real estate agents on speed dial) led Knicks team to the promised land. When we do win with you in charge your place will be secured as the greatest basketball mind to ever walk the Earth. Plus, if you agree to join the Knicks in the next 24 hours I will provide you with a personally signed JD & the Straight Shots limited edition box set.

So, what do you say? Do you want to spend the next few years cursing my existence while you wallow away with our pathetic excuse for a professional basketball organization?

Best,

James “Jimmy” Dolan